Fennster

So I order 2 pizzas yesterday. A pepperoni and a hawaiian(thats ham + pineapple for those of you living under a rock or beneath the sweat of Maddona’s underbreast), and as I go to remove a peice and fulfill the dreams that I have created in my cranium over the last half hour to forty five minutes(delivery time) I find the slice is somehow magically welded to the other pieces, perhaps by gorilla glue or scotch tape…

Or is it possible that these Italian shmucks(please disregard this comment if you are a member or the Italian mafia, this doesn’t apply to you), failed to put enough pressure on the knife or roller to fully cut through my pizzas? That is the whole reason why I ordered pizza from you in the first place, because I’m to god damn lazy to make it OR to cut it myself. You got my money, I should have gotten a hot pizza with the toppings I specified at an early time, that were cut all the way through into 8 or 12 pieces, I even let them decide how many slices to cut it into because I’m such a caring soul!!!!

Why don’t you guinni’s quit being such pussies and put a little pressure on that knife, or quit letting your 7 year old daughters cut my pie!!!
Thank you for reading and for your co-operation. Have a nice day.

And for the record, I have no problem with Italians, I just like to rant. So por favore, if your name is Pauly, Nicky, or Vinny; I don’t need you to come visit mi casa, and you may feel free to hold onto Uncle Guido’s special package, I won’t be needing it delivered to my location anytime soon. Grazie!!!

Ciao